


the gordon parable

by breadstickepic



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, The Stanley Parable
Genre: Found Family, Gen, HLVRAI, Memory Loss, Tags to be added, Time Loop, half life vr but the ai is self aware - Freeform, helloooo this is my take on a stanley parable au, stanley and the narrator do not appear in this its just the hlvrai cast, they/them benrey, uhhh gordon suffers in this one yall im not gonna lie if u know the stanley parable then u know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24750646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadstickepic/pseuds/breadstickepic
Summary: Gordon woke up in an office building without any memories. That already sucked, but these four assholes narrating his every action weren't helping either. (stanley parable au!!)
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone, Other ships to be determined
Comments: 69
Kudos: 162





	1. awake

**Author's Note:**

> yoooooo its the stanley parable au for for hlvrai!! there were several people on tumblr that inspired this you know who you are <3 you know what if even just one person reads this and likes it i will be happy :) umm i am getting back into writing after a very long time so if its a bit awkward to read that's why! doing my best though ^_^ anyway, one thing you should know is that in the beginning chapters it's gonna be a lot like vanilla stanley parable, but it is gonna go wayyy off the rails later dont worry :p

All of a sudden, Gordon woke up. 

Not in the way he normally would, where he'd roll out of bed half past noon. This was more of a sudden jolt into awareness, and he found himself sitting at a desk, in a small dark room, staring at a computer screen. How long had he been there?

He tried to remember how he got here, but came up blank. He couldn’t recognize this place at all. But trying to recall how he ended up here caused a flood of other realizations, and he started to panic.

He couldn't remember what he did that morning, he couldn't remember what day it was, or even the last thing he did before this-- Realizing his heart was starting to race and he was having trouble breathing, he gasped for air and tried to calm himself down. What could he remember?

Okay, good. He could remember his name.

And.. what else? Blurry memories floated in his mind, just out of reach. 

He could call to mind vague things, like the feeling of a cool breeze, sunlight on his skin, the sound of someone's voice. But he couldn't put a name or a face to it, or remember where he heard it. It was like his memories were encased in a thick fog, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't hold onto the small pieces for long. That was concerning, but this obviously wasn't helping.

Maybe there was something here that could help him figure out what was going on, at least. Focusing back on the room, he straightened up in the chair and looked over the desk. There was the computer, with a blinking command prompt and nothing else, (he wouldn't know what to type anyway,) and a bunch of office supplies scattered around. Pencils, paper, a file cabinet which was locked, and a telephone. For a moment he thought he might have found something that could help, but he realized he couldn't remember anyone that he could call. Well, fuck.

After taking a few moments to breathe, he stood up from the chair and turned towards the closed door. Silently praying it wasn't locked, he tried the handle. Hey, it opened! Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he pulled the door all the way open and stepped through.

It was an office building (probably could've guessed that) but it was completely empty of people. Actually, at that moment he realized how eerily silent it was. There was the hum of the air conditioner, but not much else. No sign of life. And.. the windows. The light coming from them was too bright for him to see outside? He moved to investigate, but halfway across the room he heard-

"All of his coworkers were gone! What could that mean?"

"What the fuck?" He couldn't help from blurting out, as a gut reaction. But there was no response.

He tried to figure out where the voice came from, maybe an intercom or something? He couldn't see one anywhere, but maybe he just wasn’t looking hard enough. Gordon tried to figure out if he knew the person who spoke, but his voice didn't seem to ring any bells. He sounded like an older gentleman, and had spoken enthusiastically.

And... coworkers? Gordon didn't work here. He worked at-

Nope, the memory slipped away. Damn it.

And why was that person talking about him? He almost considered the possibility this could be some kind of prank, that this was some sort of elaborate surprise party or something. But there was no way that could explain the memory loss.

With a lack of other leads to follow, he decided to call out, on the chance that the person could hear him.

"Hello?"

There was no response. Either he couldn't hear him, or didn't care to respond.

Since the voice didn't say anything else, he went closer to the window. It was just like he thought. It was completely white outside, or, maybe the office had light panels installed in all the windows? That would be weird as hell, but this whole situation was weird as hell. He also realized he couldn't hear any sound of traffic or birds or anything from outside either, which seemed strange for an office building. Where was this place?

With nothing left to look at here unless he wanted to go digging through a bunch of desks, he moved on through the open door at the far end of the room.

Yeah, more desks, whatever. He figured he'd at least look around, so he went further into the new room.

"Gordon decided he'd head to the meeting room, perhaps he'd simply missed a memo!" The same voice as before said.

Was that supposed to be a hint? It still didn't make any sense to him. And it's not like he would know where the meeting room was anyway. Frustrated and not seeing anything of interest in the room, he moved on through the only open door he could see.

It led into a hallway that he walked through quickly, not wanting to waste any more time. At the end of the hallway was another room.

He walked in without thinking and the door shut behind him, and he heard it lock. What the fuck, it didnt even look like an automatic door? He fruitlessly tried the door handle even though he knew it was locked. Fuck. He turned back to the room he was in and looked across from him. There were two open-

"When Gordon came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left!" said the voice.

He knew his name? What else did he know? And... Gordon wasn't sure if he could trust him. What if he was the one who brought him here and fucked up his memory?

Even though he didn't think the voice would respond, he asked anyway. "Why should I go through the left door?"

Still no response. With that, being increasingly frustrated about the situation, he scowled a bit and headed through the door on the right without a second thought.

"wowwwwwww...." said a different voice sarcastically.

Shit, so there's more of them? He was just processing that when a third distinct voice spoke.

"Umm, it's okay, he can just take a detour through the, the employee lounge!"

And then a fourth voice said in a hushed tone, "Tommy, you're supposed to say it in past tense. Well, not that *I* give a shit."

"Oh right! Sorry Bubby!" 'Tommy' said back, whisper-shouting.

Learning some of their names was a bit of progress, and with them talking more, Gordon took the opportunity to try and figure out where the voices were coming from. Except.. they didn't sound like they were coming from any particular direction. Just the thought gave him a creeping sense of horror, but were the voices coming from inside his head? Fuck, as if it couldn't get any weirder. There was no way that could be the case.

He decided to ignore that for the sake of his sanity and kept going. When he entered what he figured was the lounge, he heard Tommy speak up again.

"Oh, I love this room! There's a soda machine! Um, Mr. Freeman stopped in the break room to enjoy, the scenery, and then kept going."

Gordon stood there for a few moments trying to decide what to do next. But apparently it was a few moments too long, because the flat voice from before spoke up again.

"bbbbbbb what is he doing.. hurry up..."

Gordon was struck with the urge to tell them to fuck off, but before he could, Tommy spoke again.

"Maybe he's, I mean, maybe he was thinking of buying a soda?"

"Soda!" said Bubby.

"nahh he's prob'ly broke lmao.."

Did they just say 'lmao' out loud??? Oh my god, fuck this. With that, Gordon quickly left the room, entering a long hallway.

"Ah! But eager to get back on track, Gordon took the first open door on his left."

While Gordon was tempted to go the wrong way again, he was tired of being confused, and wanted to at least try and get some answers first. If they were luring him somewhere to kill him they probably could've done that already.

"Can you guys hear me?" Gordon asked.

"He said. To himself I guess, since no one was there." Bubby said in a critical tone.

What the fuck, so they could hear him. Were they just ignoring him before? And what was up with them continuously narrating his actions? Actually, you know what? That gave him an idea. He didn't know exactly where to aim it since there didn't seem to be any cameras, (how could they see him?) But.. 

Gordon flipped the bird.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA"

"Oh, shut up, Benrey. Gordon flipped off the ceiling, like an idiot."

Still, Gordon couldn't help from smirking, even if it was a small victory.

"Gordon took the first open door on his left!"

There was that first voice again. Gordon noted that he hadn't seemed to have  
'broken character' like the others yet, and he'd repeated the instruction. Maybe he was getting impatient? While Gordon still wasn't sure about these people, he figured this would at least be better than wandering around aimlessly through the building. He could always bail if he needed to. 

Gordon went through the door. And… it also locked behind him. Were all the doors doing that?

"Oh, at least he's listening to Dr. Coomer now," Tommy said quietly.

"Don't hold your breath. He still could fuck up here."

Gordon was about to retort, but Dr. Coomer spoke again.

"Gordon walked straight ahead through the maintenance section, and into the opposite door."

Okay, seriously. They have to be messing with Gordon on purpose, because at the same time Dr. Coomer said that, a light flicked on over the maintenance elevator. There was no telling where that could go though, so Gordon decided he would still listen. For now.

He went through the door as instructed, and into another hallway which led into a room with a projector and a conference table. Every door he entered also automatically closed and locked behind him as well. He tried to stop this one before it shut, but apparently the door was stronger than him. Fantastic.

Now that Gordon was in the meeting room, Dr. Coomer kept talking.

"But there was no sign of his coworkers here either. Gordon was in disbelief-"

"I'm not, actually!"

"-and decided he would go up to his boss's office, to hopefully find an answer there!"

What Gordon actually was was getting sick of this. Can't they just talk to him? They could obviously hear him, so what gives?

"Why are you narrating what you want me to do instead of just- telling me?" Not that he expected an answer.

"He asked." Bubby added unhelpfully.

"Ummmmm… Gordon shouldn't have been worrying about that, and should keep, I mean, should've kept going."

At least Tommy seemed to be trying to help. It still felt dismissive to Gordon though.

Gordon was about to leave the meeting room, but briefly glanced at what was being projected on the screen. Okay, this one had to have been some kind of joke. It was a pie chart of popularity for different.. soda flavors? Except Gordon had definitely never heard of fucking evil flavored soda. This was stupid.

He was about to go up the stairs when yet again he noticed a light flick on over another path. Downwards. It was like this office was deliberately designed to give him opportunities to go the wrong way. That wouldn't make any sense, though, it was probably just a coincidence.

Gordon went up the stairs, and through the double doors. Which locked behind him, of course. This must have been the boss's office.

"Stepping into his manager's office, Gordon was stunned to find yet again no indication of human life! Shocked,"

Not really.

"Unraveled,"

Okay, maybe a bit. He was pretty stressed out. But not because his 'coworkers' were missing.

"Gordon wondered in disbelief how this happened, and what dark secret was being held from him."

Gordon expected Dr. Coomer to continue, but Bubby cut in.

"What he could not have known was that the keypad behind the boss's desk guarded the horrible truth that his boss had been keeping from him!"

Sure enough, there was the keypad. Then, Tommy started talking.

"And so, the boss had assigned it, a super secret pin number! 2845! But there was no way Mr. Freeman could have known that."

Gordon could practically hear Tommy wink in his voice. Maybe they were actually trying to help him? He still wasn't sure. Either way, Gordon put the pin number in. 2 8 4 5.

And… nothing happened.

"...Isn't the secret door supposed to open?" Tommy said after a moment.

"Maybe he entered the pin wrong? Gordon tried again. 2845." Bubby said.

Just. Ask. Like a normal person. Do they not know how to socialize? Still, Gordon did it anyway, exaggerating his movements, hoping they would get the point. Still nothing.

"Huh." said Bubby.

For the first time, Dr. Coomer broke character.

"No… it should be working. I mean, he put in the code correctly, after all. Err, not that he could have known that."

"Then what's-"

"can i see your passport?"

Benrey? Gordon had almost forgotten they were there.

"What."

"i'm gonna need to see some id."

"That's not in the script-" Dr. Coomer tried to say.

"this is uhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm a matter of national security. now. your passport."

"What do you mean, my fucking passport?" Gordon asked incredulously, gesturing at the ceiling, annoyed.

"are you allowed to be here? i can't let you go any further without a passport."

"Why the fuck would I need my passport?? What? Are you kidding me?"

"security is no joke bro stop being such a baby. meh meh meh meh meh"

Holy shit, they were mocking him. This was bullshit.

"Oh my god, fuck you. I wake up with no memories, get told what to do by a bunch of people who won't even talk to me directly, and now you're demanding a passport from me of all things?? You're-"

"waa waa dumb baby"

Fuck this. But while Benrey and Gordon were bickering, the others had apparently been doing something, and the wall opened up to reveal an elevator.

"There we go!" said Dr. Coomer.

"Now, let's just get on with it already." Bubby said.

Not wanting to spend any more time here, Gordon stepped onto the elevator, anger evident in his posture.

"top 10 gamer rage moments lol he has his fists balled"

"Fuck off."

The lift started descending as Dr. Coomer spoke.

"Ah… well, um.. Descending deeper into the building, Gordon realized he felt a bit strange. There was a stirring of emotion in his chest, as if he felt the freedom to think for himself, to question the nature of his job."

Obviously the only stirring of emotion in his chest right now was anger, but whatever. Gordon wasn't in the mood to talk right now.

"So, why was he feeling this now, when for years it had never occurred to him?" Dr. Coomer continued. "This question would not go unanswered for long."

The lift reached the bottom, and Gordon stepped off and started walking. The lights flicked on over a big sign over a door that said 'Mind Control Facility'. Seriously? That was so fucking suspicious. And to his left was a hallway with a handwritten sign that read 'ESCAPE'.

"Gordon walked straight ahead through the door labelled 'Mind Control Facility'."

Gordon was still pissed off, not just at Benrey but at the whole situation. Though, the sign made him think. Who wrote it? Were other people trapped here before him? It could have been a warning, and maybe a way out. He still wasn't sure if he could trust the people guiding him. And a place being called a mind control facility was extremely suspicious.

So, he stormed off down the escape hallway.

"Wait, Mr. Freeman, please don't go that way! Please?" 

Tommy sounded like he was actually.. worried? And he was talking directly to him for once. Gordon stopped after a few steps.

"It, I know that it says, escape, but it's actually really dangerous down there!"

Gordon thought for a moment. So far it had seemed like Tommy had been trying to help. Maybe he could trust him? After deliberating for a few seconds, Gordon took a deep breath and turned back the way he came. He heard Tommy let out a sigh of relief.

Despite his hesitation, Gordon entered the mind control facility.

"more like, mine craft facility"

What the hell was Benrey even talking about? Gordon just ignored him.

The room was too dark to see much, except for a button with a light bulb symbol on it up ahead. His steps echoed as he crossed the catwalk and pressed the button.

Some dim lights flicked on, revealing the room to be completely massive, as well as having walls packed with television screens. Okay, who needs that many TVs?

"The lights rose on an enormous room, walls covered in television screens. What horrible secret did this place hold, Gordon thought to himself," said Dr. Coomer.

Gordon was actually thinking about how this room was even constructed, and how much it must have cost to build. Seriously, there's no way all of this was necessary.

"And did he have the strength to find out?"

As Dr. Coomer was talking, a catwalk rose up, and the gate leading to it opened. Gordon took the new path, and came to another platform with another button. This one with a camera symbol on it. Yeah, he knew what he was supposed to do.

When Gordon pushed the button, the monitors all turned on.

"Now, the monitors jumped to life, their true nature revealed," narrated Dr. Coomer. "Each monitor had the number of one of Gordon's co-workers, as well as Gordon's, being 427."

Was that the number on the door of the office Gordon woke up in? He hadn't looked, but he had noticed the numbers on most doors in the building. 

"it should be 420." Benrey said, sounding like they were way too close to the microphone.

"Just stick to the script, Benrey." Bubby said, exasperatedly.

Looking at the monitors, Gordon figured that confirmed that there were in fact cameras everywhere. They must have been well hidden. He could even see 'his' office.

"The lives of so many people, reduced to images on a screen. How grim! And Gordon was one of them, eternally monitored in this place where freedom meant nothing." Dr. Coomer said, in a joyful tone that didn't really match what he was saying.

Another catwalk rose up, which Gordon continued onto and towards the next button, this one with an elevator symbol on it.

When he pushed it, Benrey started mumbling into the microphone again. “yeah the uhhhh intro part was right about you.”

“What? What are you talking about???” Gordon felt like burying his head in his hands, but didn’t want to risk smudging his glasses.

Instead of responding, Benrey blew air on the microphone which made an awful noise.

“You know what, I’m not talking to you anymore. You obviously don’t-”

“huuh?”

“Fuck off.”

“Gordon got on the lift!” interrupted Dr. Coomer

“What? Oh.” Gordon finally noticed that the elevator had already arrived. He got on, and it started rising up.

“About time!” Bubby said.

Gordon rolled his eyes.

Tommy started talking, and it sounded like he was shuffling through papers. “Ummm, it looks like we’re a bit, behind on the lines.. Should we just-”

Suddenly, Dr. Coomer took a deep breath and said a bunch of stuff really fast. “This-mind-control-facility-it-was-too-horrible-to-believe-it-couldn’t-be-true! Had-Gordon-really-been-in-someone-else’s-”

“Slow down!” Bubby tried.

“-control-all-this-time? Was-this-the-only-reason-he-was-happy-with-his-boring-job? Had-he-just-been-manipulated-into-accepting-it-blindly?”

Gordon barely understood what Dr. Coomer was saying, and there was an annoying red light swinging around above him in the dark. He braced himself as Dr. Coomer took another deep breath.

Tommy tried to stop him. “Dr. Coomer, you don’t need to-”

“No!-He-refused-to-believe-it-he-couldn’t-accept-it-his-own-life-in-someone-else’s-control?-Never!”

That’s basically already what was happening from Gordon’s perspective, but whatever.

“It was unthinkable, wasn’t it? Was that even possible?” Dr. Coomer was slowing down. “Had Gordon truly spent his whole life completely blind to the world?”

Gordon hoped that wasn’t the case, but didn’t really know. He heard some movement from over the microphone, in the room the others must be in. The elevator reached its destination, and he got off, entering another dark room filled with computers and buttons.

“I’ll- I’ll take over! Um.. But, here was the proof, the heart of the operation,” Tommy narrated. “There were controls labelled with emotions, like happy, sad, and content.”

Gordon walked through the room as Tommy spoke. He’d mostly given up on trying to talk to them.

“Walking, and eating, and working, were all monitored and commanded from this very place.”

Was that what happened to Gordon? Something about it didn’t feel like it added up, but since he wasn’t able to remember anything about his life, he couldn’t be sure.

“And, as the cold reality of his past, um, began to sink in, Gordon decided that this place would never again,” Tommy turned the page, “exert its terrible power over another human’s life. Because he was gonna dismantle the controls, once and for all!”

Yeah, alright, Gordon could agree with that. This place was pretty fucked up. So, was he just supposed to start smashing stuff, or.. Nevermind, he saw a doorway labelled ‘Facility Power’. The second he passed through the doorway, Tommy kept talking.

“And when he finally found the room’s power source, he knew it was his- his duty, to put an end to this horrible place, and everything it stood for.”

He found himself in yet another massive room, only illuminated by the ridiculously huge screen taking up the far wall. It said ‘MIND CONTROLS IDLE, AWAITING INPUT…’ and directly in front of Gordon was a pair of buttons. They were labelled ‘off’ and ‘on’ respectively. Nope, there was no way he was risking pressing the on button, especially if the mind control could still affect him. He.. really hoped that wasn’t what had happened to him.

Gordon pressed the off button, and all the lights went out. In the quiet, he could hear bits of the others’ muffled conversation.

“-are you alright, Dr. Coomer-”

“-be okay, we’re almost done after all-”

“-oh hold on, I should get back to it-”

Gordon wasn’t sure why he was concerned since he still didn’t know if they were the ones who had brought him here, but he wanted to feel like he could trust them. 

Tommy cleared his throat and started narrating again. “Darkness, and- and a rising chill of uncertainty. Was it over?”

Suddenly, where the wall screen had been, it started slowly opening from the top like a gigantic sliding door, and sunlight poured in.

“Yes, he won! Oh, I’m so glad that we- that we made it!”

“Hooray!” exclaimed Dr. Coomer, sounding like he was further away from the microphone.

“Well, at least he got there in the end,” said Bubby, just as far away.

“Oh, there’s still a bit more to read, um, even as the immense door slowly opened, Gordon reflected on how many puzzles were still left unsolved. Things like, where all his coworkers had gone, or how- how he’d managed to escape the machine’s control. But as the sunlight streamed into the room, like, peach tea through a silly straw, he realized none of that mattered to him.”

Gordon stared out the door at the sky, and he could hear birds chirping. For some reason it felt like it had been a really long time since he’d been outside. And this actually led outside, too, it wasn’t like those fake windows in the office. He was filled with relief knowing that this, whatever this strange experience was, was finally over.

“Maybe his goal wasn’t to understand, but to let go. Noone was gonna tell him where to go, what to do, or how to feel anymore!”

Did Tommy mean they were going to stop narrating him by that? Actually, Gordon hoped so. It would be kind of ridiculous if they just never stopped, and he was in… a house, or something, and they narrated his day to day life. Yeah, Gordon still didn’t remember anything about his life, definitely not where he lived before this. Maybe once he left he could find some help.

“Whatever life he lives, it will be his, and that’s all he needed to know. It maybe was the only thing that was really worth knowing.”

The door was finally all the way open, and Gordon took his first step outside.

“oh good he’s finally leaving, he wasn’t uhhh authorized to be here anyway”

Yeah Gordon wasn’t going to miss Benrey’s annoying comments.

“Oh, I’m feeling a bit sentimental, do you mind if I do the last few lines?” Dr. Coomer asked

“Oh, go ahead, Dr. Coomer! If you feel up to it!” Tommy replied.

“Gordon felt the cool breeze upon his skin, the feeling of liberation, and the immense possibility of the new path before him. This was exactly the way, right now, that things were meant to happen. And Gordon was happy.”

That was actually kind of sweet. They’d all stopped talking now, and Gordon started walking. He looked all around, trying to find some kind of landmark. There was at least a path he could follow.

He relaxed all the way, and kept walking. Maybe things really would be oka-

His vision went dark.

He blinked and he was sitting in an office chair and staring at a computer monitor.

Oh, for fuck’s sake-


	2. back again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: descriptions of gordon panicking at one point in the chapter !! i wasnt sure how to tag it just wanted to make sure you are all aware!! i put an asterisk (*) right before it happens in case anyone needs to skip it, then at the line break it's pretty much over !
> 
> OK with that out of the way, hello everyone i love you!! thank you to everyone who commented and kudosed it was really encouraging!

There was no fucking way.

There was no fucking way he was back in the office where he started.

Just a few moments ago Gordon was outside, trying to find a landmark or any sign of civilization, and then without any warning, he was here again. Sitting in this chair in front of the blinking computer monitor.

"What the fuck!"

His breathing was labored as he frantically looked around the room. How was this even possible?

This had to be some kind of joke. Or hallucination. But denying it didn't make it any less real. He could feel the chair, and hear the distant air conditioner. He knew it was real.

There had to be some explanation. Any semblance of logic as to how he ended up back here. But as he'd learned before, logic didn't really apply in this situation. He felt like he was going to fall apart. Gripping the arms of the office chair, he tried to figure out what to do. Those assholes probably knew something. They probably did this. He almost thought he could trust them before.

  
Internally he knew he should probably try to calm down before confronting them, but all he could think about right now was how angry he was.  
  
He stood up from the chair and swung the door of the office open.

"Hey, what the fuck, why am I back here!?" Gordon shouted at the ceiling. (Yeah.. he had developed a bit of a habit of doing that when he talked to them, because he didn't know exactly where their cameras were.)

Just like he'd come to expect, there was yet again no response from them.

"I know you can hear me, Bubby, Tommy, Dr. Coomer, stop acting like you can't!"

"wowww i didn't even get a mention…. harsh bro…"

"Shut up, Benrey-"

"Wait, Dr. Coomer, how- how does he know us?" Tommy asked in a hushed tone.

"I'm.. not sure. We're definitely not in his backstory." The sound of Dr. Coomer shuffling through papers came over the mic.

Gordon had started walking through the room with a scowl as Dr. Coomer talked. Did they seriously not remember? Or were they just toying with him?

"No.. the only thing it really says is about him pushing buttons and--" He suddenly paused. "All of his coworkers were gone, what could that m-"

"Uhh.. Dr. Coomer?" Bubby sounded concerned.

"Gordon-" Dr. Coomer said, then abruptly cut out for a few seconds.

What was going on? Since Gordon couldn't see them, he could only make guesses based on the little information he heard. Was it really that important to Dr. Coomer to say those lines? Or was it something else?

Okay, whatever, back to the matter at hand.

"Okay, do you guys _seriously_ not fucking remember? Or- or are you just fucking with me? We fffucking did this already!"

"Wow, he said the fuck-word _three times!_ " Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

"That's a new record! Or, well, the only record, since we just started a few minutes ago," Bubby said.

Oh my god, they were so infuriating. They literally did not listen to a word Gordon said, and still couldn't even be bothered to talk to him directly. Okay, you know what? He’d had enough of this. He leaned on the wall to catch his breath for a few moments, then kept walking.

He was definitely not listening to them anymore. He would find his own way out.

Gordon quickly walked through the office, and Dr. Coomer said the same lines as last time. Since Gordon knew the route from last time, he made it to the room with the two open doors relatively fast. He didn’t even let Dr. Coomer finish his line before he was already through the wrong door.  
  
“Wow, _somebody’s_ got a stick up his ass.” Bubby commented.

If they wouldn’t actually talk to Gordon, then he wasn’t going to talk to them. He wasn’t putting up with this anymore. So he ignored Bubby.  
  
“Do- do you think he's okay?" Tommy quietly asked.

"Probably? I mean, he's-"  
  
Bubby's statement didn't end there, but the rest of it was cut off with static. Maybe the microphone had malfunctioned.

"I know, but still.."

Gordon passed through the employee lounge again, not stopping to look around. He remembered last time Tommy had narrated in this room, but didn't seem to have anything to say this time.

Dr. Coomer, not missing a beat, continued with the narration. "Ah! But eager to get back on track, Gordon took the first open door on his left."

Yeah, you wish. No chance. Gordon went through the door straight ahead, into what looked like a warehouse.

"Gordon sucked so bad at following directions it's incredible he hadn't been fired years ago." Bubby said.

Gordon felt the urge to tell him to shut up, but, no. No. He was not engaging with them, he just needed to keep moving.

"he knows how to suck and he does it well."

Holy shit. Nevermind, if he doesn't say anything he's going to explode.

"Fuck off, Benrey!"

"huuh?"

Gordon looked around the area. There didn't seem to be anywhere to go. He was pretty high up, and there were rows of boxes along the walls of the massive room. After testing the doorknobs, he confirmed all the doors on his level were locked. When he looked all the way down to the lowest level (shit, that would be a long drop) he saw there were a couple of trucks parked and- a way outside?

It didn't look like outside though. The light coming from it was just like all the windows in the office. A bright white. And as with the windows, he couldn't see anything through it or hear any sign of life from outside.

Maybe it was just the angle he was at. If he could find a way down there, he could get a closer look.

There was a lift that didn't seem to be on, so he stepped onto it to get a better look.

It suddenly activated, startling Gordon which prompted him to quickly kneel down and grab onto the grating of the platform. 

"Fuck-"

Shit, that's such a fucking safety hazard- it didn't even have any guard rails or anything. And.. It was a long way to the floor. Something in his chest twisted and he tightened his grip.

"Uh… Look, Gordon, I think we might have gotten off on the wrong foot here-" Bubby started to say.

"Oh, so _now_ you'll talk to me!?" Gordon interrupted sharply.

The lift moved horizontally over to the opposite side as they talked.

"We're- we're not your enemies, Mr. Freeman, I promise!" Tommy said.

"How the hell am I supposed to trust you guys, you- we fucking _did_ this already, I told you! And you brought me right back!" Gordon's voice was a bit shaky.

"I'm.. not sure what you're talking about, Gordon." Dr. Coomer said. "But, I think we can prove that you can trust us, if you'll give us the chance!"

The lift made it to the other side as Dr. Coomer finished talking, and Gordon was glad to get off of it. There was an open door, which must have been where they wanted him to go. Not like there were any other options.

"I promise this- this one's really good, um, you'll like it!" Tommy shuffled through papers as he talked.

"Can you guys stop just- _telling_ me how I feel, or, or how I'm gonna feel- just let me feel however I feel! Okay?" Gordon sputtered.

"Oh no, I'm sorry I- I didn't realize-" Tommy paused for a moment. "Well, um, it's- it's a nice one-"

"It warms the heart, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer interrupted.

"What?" Gordon said, bewildered.

Dr. Coomer did not elaborate. 

After a few moments of silence Gordon narrowed his eyes. "Fine, just- Fine. Please don't make me regret this."

Not like there was anywhere else he could go anyway. He entered the door, which locked behind him, (Why?? Why are all the doors like that???) and found himself in a hallway filled with boxes.

"Just a little further. There's another room down the hall." Bubby explained.

"Oh, this is so exciting! I can't wait for-" Dr. Coomer started to say.

"No spoilers!" Bubby cut him off.

Gordon walked to the room, noticing that it was pitch black in there. Fuck it, nowhere else to go. He entered and it closed behind him.

Suddenly, a dim light flicked on above him, and the phone in the middle of the room on a table started ringing.

"Pick up pick up pick up!" Dr. Coomer excitedly encouraged.

"Umm, if you want-" Tommy said, probably trying to be mindful of Gordon wanting to make his own decisions.

"There's nothing else he can do here anyway. I mean, he could watch it ring forever, I guess."

Yeah, Gordon figured that much was true. After a moment he picked up the phone, and then his vision went white. What the-

Just as soon as the light came, it faded away, and Gordon found himself standing in front of an apartment door.

Fuck, he was trying not to think about it too much for the sake of his own sanity, but this really confirmed something otherworldly or at least not natural was going on. He just got teleported. There was no denying it. That must have been what happened before.

He took a deep breath because of how disoriented he felt from being teleported, and leaned against the door of the apartment.

"Oh, Gordon, is that you?" A voice he couldn't recognize gently said, coming from inside the apartment.

Gordon was stunned for a moment, not knowing what to say.

"Just a moment, I just need to take this off the stove. Joshua's already in bed-"

_Joshua._

Just the name sent a flood of emotion through him. He suddenly couldn't breathe. Where did he know that name from? He couldn't remember. He didn't recognize whoever was speaking, but he _knew_ that name.

Did- did he have a son? Holy shit. If he had a son and forgot-

Fuck. He needed to know. Still, he couldn't find his words.

"Alright..!" The voice said melodically. "Okay, now I want you to come in and tell me **all about your day at w-"**

The voice suddenly distorted halfway through what it was saying, while the door opened, and Gordon just stared on in shocked horror. 

There was a fucking skeleton holding the door open.

"Wait, that's not what's supposed to-" Tommy suddenly said.

"ohhhh you just got- PRANKEDDD" Benrey shouted into the microphone.

  
*  
  


Gordon couldn't respond.

"haha gottem"

"Benrey, why did you-" Bubby was talking.

They were all talking, but Gordon couldn't hear them anymore. It faded into white noise and there was a ringing in his ears. With a choked breath he backed up from the door, felt himself hit the wall behind him and slide down into a sitting position on the ground. 

He was shaking. It was all so overwhelming. He'd just been given the hope of figuring out something- anything- about his life and had it ripped away within seconds. He pulled his knees up close to him and leaned down to bury his face, wrapping his arms around himself as well. 

The name echoed in his mind.

_Joshua.  
  
_

* * *

Benrey wasn't sure how it had gone so wrong. They'd just wanted to get a reaction out of Gordon, but not like this.

Gordon was supposed to say, 'Fuck you, Benrey!' And get that hilarious angry-flustered look on his face, and roll his eyes. Not- not this. Fuck.

It was top ten Benrey cringe and fail moments after all…

The others had stopped trying to reprimand them and were now desperately trying to get through to Gordon.

"Gordon? Can you hear us?" Dr. Coomer said, leaning forward towards the monitor, concern evident in his expression.

The four of them had been packed in this small room with a microphone, monitor, and computer console for a while now. 

Except the others would always forget, every reset. There had to have been something like. 200 resets by now. Not that they were counting, they definitely slept through a lot of them. But even if the others didn't, Benrey remembered.

And as a more recent development, Gordon remembered too.

Maybe Benrey should've tried talking to him about it instead of doing this, but they'd just thought it was another random event that Gordon had remembered for a reset. Like how sometimes the office was blue for no reason, or the time there were papers all over the floor.

In fact, Benrey had done this exact same bit with the skeleton on this route before, but something was clearly different this time. Ok, you can't really blame them for reusing material, the same shit keeps happening and it's not like anyone else remembered anyway.

Ughhhh this sucked.

Benrey looked over at the others, who were exchanging worried glances. Tommy was wringing his hands as he watched Gordon over the screen. Bubby was entering something into the console.

"Maybe… maybe we should um.. take a break. I know it's- it's our first run, but.." Tommy leaned on their shared desk. "Yeah, this- this definitely counts as something going wrong."

Their 'first run'. If only Tommy knew.

"I'm just loading the employee lounge," Bubby said as he typed into the console. "Fuck this keyboard, by the way. This- it's flat like a laptop keyboard but this is a desktop. What the hell?" Bubby was probably just talking out of his ass to avoid discussing the situation.

"Well, we could always reset it, but.. I don't think I would feel right about that, at least in this situation." Dr. Coomer mused.

The team also had the power to reset, but it was more of a soft-reset rather than the automatic hard-resets. It was made use of in a certain route quite a bit. The first time they had encountered that route, Benrey had thought the others were finally able to remember, but it turned out to be just another scripted series of events, and they all ended up forgetting again. Seriously, fuck this place.

Bubby's map change went through and Gordon loaded into the employee lounge. He didn't give much indication that he noticed, but he was sitting on one of the couches there now.

Tommy suddenly lifted his head up. "Oh, hold on!" He went over to the console and typed something in really fast. "There!"

A blanket popped into existence over Gordon's head and fell down onto him.

"Oops, I meant to put it on the table-"

Apparently, the blanket suddenly covering his eyes was enough to bring him back to awareness, because shortly after, he pulled the blanket off of his head in confusion and looked around.

"How.. how did-"

"Good to have you back, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer said cheerily.

"You guys..." Gordon trailed off.

"If you can't tell, _that_ wasn't supposed to happen." Bubby muttered.

How do you do that uhhh… apologizing thing. Benrey had never really got good at that.

"it was just a prank bro" Shit, that probably wasn't the right thing to say, but they already said it. 

They could already see Gordon looked pissed off. Oops. Maybe they should shut up.

Instead of telling Benrey to fuck off like they expected, Gordon paused and then asked the group something. "How do you guys know about Joshua?"

"Your son?" Coomer asked, looking at a paper copy of the script.

"I-I have a _son?_ " Gordon sounded stunned.

"You.. didn't know?" Bubby looked over Dr. Coomer's shoulder at the script.

"I don't fucking know _anything_ , okay? I woke up without any memories-"

"Wait, okay, that- that's _definitely_ not supposed to happen." Tommy frowned as he absentmindedly tapped the propeller on his hat. (That hat fucking rules.)

Benrey remembered last loop Gordon had said something about not having any memories, but they didn't think anything of it at the time. Fuck, they were missing everything.

"Yes, you're supposed to know that.." Dr. Coomer said with a confused expression. "It says you are, anyway."

"What says I am?"

"Your backstory! Gordon worked in an office building where he was employee 427. His job was-" Dr. Coomer recited the intro segment.

Okay yeah, Benrey wasn't listening to this for the fuck-hundredth time, so they immediately spaced out. Something, something he pushes buttons. Whatever.

Gordon still looked confused as he listened. "Some of that doesn't sound right, I- I guess I wouldn't know, though.. but I definitely recognize the name Joshua."

"Perhaps something inadvertently caused you to forget!" Dr. Coomer speculated. "That must be why this was so stressful- Err, feel free to take a break while I try to figure this out." 

Dr. Coomer stood up from the desk as he spoke and most likely went to investigate. Benrey didn't really know, they were mostly paying attention to Gordon.

"Want a soda, Mr. Freeman? That always helps me feel better!" Tommy offered.

"Wait, how? I know there's a vending machine here but I don't have money, right?"

Tommy looked like he was about to say something, but Bubby immediately jumped in.

"I know! I've got this!" Bubby typed something into the console.

The vending machine exploded.

Gordon yelped in surprise, shielding himself with his arms, but luckily he was far enough away from the blast.

"Why-"

"It worked!" Bubby exclaimed triumphantly.

"Umm.. I was just going to _spawn_ a soda." Tommy said, sounding like he was holding back laughter.

"Oh.. Well, my idea was better!" Bubby said, grinning.

After the dust settled, Gordon smiled too. That was a good sign. "That's-" He laughed a bit. "That makes no fucking sense-"

"It's sad, but it had to happen, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer said from where he was looking through papers.

"What???" Gordon said, laughing. "What do you mean it _had to happen_???"

"Rest in fucking pieces, soda machine. You will be missed." Bubby said with a fake solemn tone in his voice.

" _Sierra missed!_ " Tommy exclaimed.¹

Gordon snorted and leaned back into the couch. That was good, he seemed like he was doing better.

Benrey didn't want to mess up any more than they already had, so they stayed quiet. Still, it was nice to see everyone happy.

Tommy must have noticed that the sodas from the machine were reduced to charred remains on the floor, because he spawned a soda on the table without comment. Nice, he didn't accidentally drop it on Gordon's head, as funny as that would have been.

Tommy's expression shifted to one of confusion. "Oh, huh.. I just remembered something. Um, when- when we started.. How did you already know who we were, Mr. Freeman?"

"So you really weren't fucking with me? I told you guys, we- we _did_ this already."

"Huh?" Bubby said.

"I woke up in the office, you guys took me through it, refusing to talk to me directly most of the time, rude as hell by the way. We made it to the mind control facility place and I shut it off, left, and I woke up right where I started again."

"What!? But.. if you know about that, then-" Dr. Coomer said with wide eyes. "Then- that must be true. There's no other way you could know about the mind control facility."

"Looks like it's not just you that's having memory problems? Damn, everything's fucked." Bubby said with a grimace.

"So- so it was just the one other time? This is the second run?" Tommy asked.

Benrey wanted to cut in to correct him, but how would they even begin to explain the extent of what was going on? What would they even say? The others would probably all forget after this loop just like always anyway.

Gordon nodded. "Yeah.. I don't know why you guys can't remember, but.."

"Perhaps we had reset after it and that's what caused this?" Dr. Coomer theorized. "Maybe we should just not reset at all until we figure this out."

Fuck. No no no no-

Coomer should not have said that. There's no way he could have known, but Benrey had tried that a bunch of times before.

And every time someone says that they're not going to reset, or a run goes on for too long, it automatically hard-resets soon after.

There was no telling how much time they had left until everyone forgot again.

Benrey gripped the chair they were in, and a bit of the sweet voice left their mouth before they realized and closed it.

Tommy looked over at them in confusion and then concern as he read the sweet voice.

"Red- red to gray means.."² 

"nothing. it means nothing-" Benrey interrupted.

Tommy seemed to get the hint and didn't finish what he was saying. He looked over at the monitor as if he was trying to piece together what caused Benrey to feel that way.

"Yeah, alright. There's gotta be something we can do on our end." Bubby said, responding to Dr. Coomer. "They didn't tell us anything like _this_ could happen though."

"Wait, who's they?" Gordon asked. But no one had the chance to answer.

A familiar loud alarm went off, and it reset.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Sierra mist is a brand of soda!! I figure not everyone has it in their country so just wanted to make sure you got the pun :)  
> 2\. In this case, red to gray means something like "I'm afraid" or "I'm not okay" sorry if i accidentally stole that from anyone i have been reading hlvrai fic nonstop for over a month and it has all turned into a big soup in my brain!!!
> 
> one really funny thing about this chapter is when i wrote something about labored breathing or whatever near the start i misspelled it at first and docs tried to correct it to flavored breathing. HELLO??? FLAVORED BREATHING?? FLAVORED?????? That phrase has been living rent free in my head for days now LMAO i think google docs has gained self awareness and is trying to tell me it knows what the sweet voice is....
> 
> is anyone actually reading this fic and enjoying it?? i second guess every single word i put down but im pretty sure thats just the anxiety talking, no anxiety i will Not delete the gordon parable thank you <3


	3. again and again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOO whats up :3 i meant to have this up a few days ago but its been a really busy week, hope it was worth the wait!! its a pretty long one compared to the other two! in this chapter we're doing one of my favorite endings >:) yall gonna be mad at me for one specific reason LMAO uhh see you at the end <3

What the hell was that!?

Gordon got the feeling that the others weren't responsible for whatever just happened. A  _ loud _ alarm just went off and then it 'reset'.

Yeah, he was back in the office. Goddamn it. At least he had a little bit more of an understanding of what was happening, but definitely not enough. Maybe he could keep talking to the group once he collected his thoughts.

Though… What if they had forgotten again? They probably wouldn't listen to him if he tried to explain it again. Last time they only really listened after-- No, definitely not doing that again.

He never even got to drink that soda.

He sighed. Gordon weighed his options and decided he still wanted to try to find his own way out. So if the others didn't remember he would hold off on trying to convince them for now.

He opened the door of the office and walked out to see the familiar desks and windows that were way too bright. 

"Hello?" Gordon called tentatively. He walked through the room like the last two times and-

"All of his coworkers were gone! What could that mean?" 

Ah, fuck. Gordon grimaced and kept walking. So they must have forgotten again. That's not good. He had to keep going though.

Where should he start with looking for a way out? A normal office building would probably have a  _ fucking elevator _ or a map, maybe a fire exit, but the architecture of this place made no sense.

Actually, he could think of an elevator he'd seen before. On his first run he'd passed it. The maintenance elevator. Maybe that was worth checking out.

He continued through the office as Dr. Coomer and the others narrated their lines the same as before, though Benrey didn't say anything this time when he went through the wrong door. Maybe they only commented before because of something Gordon said. 

Also, when he passed through the employee lounge, he noticed the vending machine was distinctly  _ not _ exploded. So the resets must affect the state of objects as well, it wasn't just him being teleported.

He made it to the room with the maintenance elevator, and Bubby and Tommy said their familiar lines.

"Oh, at least he's listening to Dr. Coomer now.." Tommy said.

"Don't hold your breath. He could still fuck up here." Bubby replied.

Does it count as fucking up if it's premeditated? Gordon stepped onto the maintenance elevator and pushed the button. The elevator started moving down into the dark.

"See, I told you!" Bubby shouted, annoyed.

"Umm, well, that's not good.." Tommy commented. "I'm sure there's somewhere he can go to- to get back on track though?" He said that with a questioning tone in his voice, maybe he didn't know.

The elevator reached its destination and Gordon got off. He was in a dimly lit room with several closed doors. He was about to start checking which ones were locked when the narration started up again.

"Oh, hold on." Bubby must have realized he was supposed to say something. "But Gordon didn't want to get back on track, he wanted to wander around and get even further off track." Bubby narrated. "Ya got that right!"

Rude. Not like Gordon was going to try to explain his motivations to them right now.

"So now, to get back to the right path, Gordon needed to go.." Dr. Coomer started to say, but paused. "Um…" The sound of him flipping through papers came over the microphone. "Oh dear, hold on."

"Something wrong, Doctor?" Bubby asked.

"The instructions aren't quite clear, but I think it's… This way!"

While they were talking, Gordon had been trying the doors, which were all locked. Except as soon as Dr. Coomer said 'this way', one of the doors on the right opened.

Gordon figured that was the only way he could go, so he walked over to the door.

Before he could enter it, it shut.

"A-actually I'm pretty sure it- it's to the left." Tommy said as a door opened on the opposite side of the room.

Gordon tried the door that just closed anyways, but it was locked. He sighed and walked over to the door that Tommy opened.

Except that one shut too.

"No, no, I know where we're supposed to go-" Bubby said, opening a different door.

Gordon could tell what was going on. "Are you guys saying you're lost?"

"You're the one who's  _ lost, _ dumbass." Bubby retorted. "We just need to figure out how to get you where you need to go from here." 

"Ah, I do believe I've figured it out!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed. "This way for sure!"

The door Bubby opened closed, and a larger door next to it opened.

"Well, better than just sitting here, I guess." Bubby said.

Gordon could agree with that. He stopped in front of the door for a moment in case they were going to close it, but it stayed open, so he went through.

It was dark, and he turned the corner and ended up on a catwalk. He passed through another door and- Wait, the  _ monitor room? _

"Wait, he's not supposed to be here yet!" Bubby said.

"Oh no, spoilers!" Tommy said, alarmed.

"Quick, Gordon, close your eyes!" Dr. Coomer shouted.

He was back in the room with hundreds of television screens? Gordon tried to map out this place in his head, but none of it made any sense. He had no idea how he could've ended up here going the way he went.

"Oh no, the story!" Tommy said in the same tone as before.

"Ya fucked up, Gordon!" Bubby said.

What the hell?

"Okay,  _ how is this my fault? _ " Gordon asked incredulously. "You guys told me this was the right way!"

"Well, if you had just listened from the start-" Bubby began.

"Ah, this is a bit of a mess. Oh well, we could always just reset!" Dr. Coomer said.

Reset? Does that mean they were going to forget again? There wasn't much Gordon could do, but he still didn't want that to happen.

"Wait-" Gordon tried to say.

"That's all I needed to hear! Well, don't fuck up next time, Gordon!" Bubby said. The sound of him whacking a button forcefully came over the microphone.

* * *

Benrey was at a loss as to what to do. Gordon hadn't given any indication he still remembered. In fact, he was acting a lot like the early loops again, where he was mostly silent.

Benrey expected Gordon to keep trying to talk to the group, their conversation had ended pretty abruptly. So, did he really forget again? At least he wouldn't remember what happened in the last loop. Not like that was the worst thing that had ever happened here, but they still felt bad. 

Bbbbbbbbb. This sucked. At least they didn't get their hopes up too much. They almost thought they could at least have someone to talk to that wouldn't forget what they said within 30 minutes.

They watched Gordon start the confusion ending by riding the maintenance elevator.

Normally Benrey would try to get on his nerves right about now, but didn't really feel like it. Maybe later.

They always found it confusing that Gordon wouldn't remember things between loops but would still somehow go down different paths every time, even without Benrey's interference.

They sighed a bit and started spinning in their chair. Benrey wasn't looking forward to seeing the confusion route again. Some parts were pretty fun, but they hated the end.

Maybe they'd try something new to change it. It had never worked before, but you never know.

But first the others had to reset a few times.

Here was the first one, right on  _ schedule. _

* * *

Aaand Gordon was back in the office. Great. Guess the maintenance elevator wasn't the right way to go. 

The way they had talked about 'runs' and resets before made him wonder if it was even possible to get out of here. He.. decided not to dwell on that for now. If he spent too much time thinking about it.. it probably wouldn't go well.

He started the usual walk through the office, and Dr. Coomer recited the usual lines. He started thinking about where he would look next, maybe he would actually try going through the left door for once.

But when he got to that decision, something was off.

"When Gordon came to a set of-- what?" Dr. Coomer suddenly cut himself off halfway through the line.

Wait, instead of two doors, there were six. How? Why?

"That- that's not right!" Tommy said.

"I thought we reset? Shouldn't everything be back to normal?" Bubby asked.

What? They remembered through the reset? Why didn't they remember before?

"Yes.. I can't think of any reason it wouldn't." Dr. Coomer said, confused.

"Did  _ you _ do this, Gordon?" Bubby said in an accusatory tone.

Seriously!? 

"How could _I_ have done this!?" Gordon shouted in disbelief. He shook his head as if to dispel his anger. As infuriating as Bubby was being, Gordon was still focused on the fact that they remembered through a loop.

"No, I don't think it was him," Dr. Coomer interjected. "Well.. Perhaps we can find a way back to the story from here. Time for an adventure!"

All the doors opened at once, into different hallways.

"Yeah! Adventure!" Tommy exclaimed.

He stood there for a moment. Did they just expect him to start wandering around? Like just pick a door and-

"Just pick a door and go!" Bubby said.

Okay, fine! Gordon rolled his eyes and started walking through a door to the right that wasn't there before.

The hall led into a bunch of different winding hallways, and he just picked one at random to go through. He passed a bunch of doors (locked), offices, and papers that were all over the floor. He picked one up out of curiosity but it was just a printout of the wikipedia article for chair?  _ Why? _

He wandered around for a bit longer. This was obviously getting him nowhere. He was about to give up when he noticed he was back in the room he started in. Was his sense of direction that bad that he didn't notice he went in a circle? He was pretty sure he had been going in one general direction.

"Okay, this adventure sucks." Bubby complained.

"Yeah… I-I didn't want to say anything, but.." Tommy said.

"Maybe we should reset again?" Dr. Coomer suggested.

Gordon was definitely seeing a pattern here.

"I doubt we're gonna get anywhere by just resetting over and over, but it can't possibly get worse than this." Bubby said. "I'll-"

"Nope, my turn!" Dr. Coomer interrupted jovially, slamming the reset button.

Gordon was back in the office again. Fuck, that was disorienting, especially twice in the span of a few minutes. He needed to breathe for a moment. Every time it reset, the instant transition from standing somewhere to sitting in front of the computer was dizzying.

After steadying himself he got up and started the walk through the office again. Something gave him the feeling that things weren't going to stop going wrong just yet.

Dr. Coomer did his narration again. Gordon had heard those first few lines enough times that he could probably recite them from memory.

Gordon made it to the room that was  _ supposed _ to have two doors, but this time, there were none.

"Fuck!" Bubby said.

"Ah, guess it  _ can _ get worse, Professor Bubby!" Dr. Coomer said.

"Doctor." Bubby asserted.

"Professor!" Dr. Coomer replied.

They went back and forth like that for a while.

What was even happening? Gordon had pretty much given up on making sense of it. It was obviously a waste of time to even try.

Wait, was Gordon just locked in this room now? The door he entered from closed behind him like usual, but there wasn't anywhere he could go. 

He tried the door handle anyway. Yeah, it was locked. What kind of building has- nope, no, stop trying to make sense of it, it's never going to make sense.

"Doctor."

"Prof-"

Tommy interrupted them. Thank god. "Maybe- maybe we're remembering this wrong? What if he's supposed to be going the other way?"

"Well, I  _ did _ spill bug juice on my copy of the map." Bubby replied.

"What?" Gordon asked.

"Hmm, perhaps you're right, Tommy!" Dr. Coomer said. "Let's go back!"

The door opened and hit Gordon in the face.

"Ow-"

"Oops!" said Dr. Coomer. He didn't sound like he regretted it though.

They were really starting to get on his nerves again. But not as much as- Benrey? Wait, where were they? He just realized he hadn't heard them say anything in a while. Were they okay?

Wait, why was he worried? Nevermind, fuck Benrey. Still, they remained on his mind.

Gordon went back the way he came, but..

It was completely different. Holy shit, that's so disorienting. It was a completely different hallway. He already knew something unnatural was going on for sure, but it was still fucked up to see the environment completely change within minutes.

"Hooray!" Dr. Coomer said. "Looks like you were onto something!"

"We're gonna find the story!" Tommy cheered.

Gordon turned the corner. And then again. And again. Holy shit, the hallway just turned into a square, and the way he came from was spatially just  _ gone _ . He hated that.

He turned the corner a few more times trying to make sense of it and then it was suddenly a dead end. He just stared at it in disbelief. Man, he hated this place.

"Uhh.. I don't think this is it." Bubby said.

"Maybe we missed something?" Tommy suggested.

"Let's go back!" Dr. Coomer said, exactly the same way as the last time he said it.

Go back where? It was probably going to change again. He did it anyway. Turned the corner, turned the corner, turned the corner, aaaand it was some kind of laboratory now. Great.

"Uhhh.. hmm. This- this doesn't seem like the story at all." Tommy said.

The lab was pretty familiar, though Gordon couldn't really place why. Maybe he worked someplace like this. That was as plausible of an explanation as any. He sure as hell knew he didnt work at that office.

He walked through it. There were some empty tubes against the wall and a few computer monitors.

"Doesn't this story take place in an office building?" Bubby said, sounding unsure of himself.

"It seems I've misplaced my copy of the script." Dr. Coomer said. "Hmm.. do you remember, Gordon?"

Oh, he was asking him? "Yeah? We were literally just there."

Dr. Coomer didn't seem to acknowledge that Gordon had said anything. "Well, since I've no idea what we were supposed to be doing, how about this! You win!"

Stock sound effects of cheering played. Gordon just stood there, bewildered, and laughed from the sheer ridiculousness.

The sound effects cut out abruptly and Bubby started talking. "No, you don't! You didn't do anything worth a win!"

"I think he's- he's been doing pretty well, it's not his fault the-" Tommy cut out into static for a word. "-has been acting up." The cheering sound effects started up again.

There was that static again. Their microphone must be pretty shitty. He wondered what word he missed.

Bubby stopped the sound effects again. "No, if he wants to win, he's gonna have to earn it!" He declared.

"Win what?" Gordon asked, furrowing his brow.

"Win!" Dr. Coomer 'explained'.

Probably serves Gordon right for expecting a straight answer from any of them.

"Let's just reset and try again." Bubby said.

"Do you think that- that'll work this time?" Tommy asked.

"Frankly I just want to get away from this shit laboratory already." Bubby said in disgust.

"I'll-" Dr. Coomer started, a laugh clear in his voice.

"Nope!" Bubby interrupted.

Gordon heard shuffling and...crashing from over the microphone? What the fuck, were they  _ wrestling  _ over this _?  _ He could hear them laughing as the crashing sounds continued.

"Guys?" Tommy asked. "Shouldn't we.." They were too busy to respond. "I'll- I'll just do it." Tommy said.

Gordon braced himself for the reset this time and when he blinked he was sitting in that familiar chair. Ugh. This whole situation had gotten way out of hand. And these last few times he hasn't had any option but to follow what the others said, since every door was locked unless they opened them. So much for finding his own way out.

Way out.  _ There had to be a way out. _ He assured himself of this, but doubt and a feeling of dread still lingered in his mind.

He shook away that feeling and left the starting room, but Dr. Coomer's lines didn't start as usual this time. Instead, Tommy started talking.

"Good news! I- I have a solution!"

"What is it?" Bubby asked.

Suddenly, Gordon heard something moving. Not from over the microphone. From the next room. Holy shit, was someone else here? He had no idea how long it had been since he'd seen another person.

But instead of a person, a  _ huge  _ golden retriever bounded into the room, running up to him. Holy shit, this dog was almost as tall as him, even while it was on all fours. Was this a dog or a fucking horse? 

"Yeah, it worked!" Tommy cheered.

"A dog?" Dr. Coomer questioned excitedly.

"That's- that's my dog, Sunkist!" Tommy said happily. "She's the perfect dog!"

_ The dog was named Sunkist. Of course it was. _

Sunkist came up to Gordon, wagging her tail excitedly. She was doing a little tap dance and kept trying to lick his face, though he kept blocking her with his arm. He couldn't help from smiling, though.

"How did you do this?" Bubby asked. "I didn't think we had anything living in the assets."

"Well I made her before, not for this, for something else, and- and I thought, since we can't go there to help, maybe she could!"

He  _ made _ her? He meant like.. adopted, right?

Sunkist was affectionately trying to nuzzle Gordon. And also almost pushing him over. He was pretty sure dogs were not supposed to be this big.

"Your dog is beautiful!" Dr. Coomer said cheerfully.

"How does this help, exactly?" Bubby questioned.

Gordon was wondering the same thing.

"She's a very smart dog, if anyone can- can find the story, it's her!"

Sunkist perked up at the sound of Tommy's voice and seemed like she was trying to figure out where he was.

"Sorry, Sunkist! I can't go there, umm, can you bring Mr. Freeman to the- the story?" Tommy asked.

Sunkist barked softly and started walking, but stopped after a moment to look back at Gordon. She must have been waiting for him to follow her.

He stood there just taking the situation in. Yep, this was his life now.

Gordon had only been standing there for a few seconds when the others already started telling him to go.

"Well, don't just stand there!" Bubby said.

"You should get a move on, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer said.

"You guys are really impatient." Gordon commented, shaking his head as he started following Sunkist.

Sunkist led him partly through the usual route, but suddenly turned towards a door on the side that was normally locked. She pawed at it for a moment and it opened. One of the others must have opened it for her. Gordon followed her through it.

"See? She- she knows where the story is!" Tommy said cheerfully. "Good girl, Sunkist!"

Sunkist wagged her tail but didn't stray from her task. She led Gordon through a room he'd never seen before.

"Onwards, Gordon, to destiny!" Dr. Coomer said excitedly.

Sunkist took him through more rooms, on a bit of a strange path too. She went in circles for seemingly no reason and wouldn't keep going unless Gordon did too. Was that really necessary? This place must be getting to him because he ended up doing it anyway.

"Wouldn't wherever we end up be our destination, even if there's no story there?" Dr. Coomer mused.

"Maybe, but we  _ are _ trying to find the story right now." Bubby replied.

Gordon followed Sunkist while the others talked.

"That's true, but isn't this already a bit of a story right now?" Dr. Coomer said.

"I- I guess that a story doesn't really need to-"

They were still talking, but Gordon tuned them out because  _ Sunkist was now walking up the wall. What the fuck?  _ What happened to gravity being a thing? A thing that mattered? She seemed like she expected him to follow her as well. How?

Gordon just stared at her incredulously. This place made no fucking sense. He was going to lose it.

Tommy, Bubby and Dr. Coomer were still talking about what makes a story a story or whatever, though Gordon wasn't really listening. He stared up at Sunkist.

Sunkist must have realized Gordon couldn't follow her, or got tired of waiting, because she walked back down onto the floor. That was a relief. Wait, what? She walked over to Gordon and tugged at his shirt.

"What are you- WHOA-" Gordon sputtered.

Sunkist picked him up and put him on her back. Holy shit. This dog was fucking strong. And this was absurd. Guess  _ this _ was his life now. Riding this massive golden retriever. Like a horse. He started listening to the others' conversation again.

"Wait, what were we just talking about?" Bubby asked.

Gordon definitely didn't know.

"Forget it! Let's put on some music to lighten the mood!" Dr. Coomer suggested.

"What song?" Tommy asked.

"I've got the perfect song!" Bubby shouted.

Dr. Feelgood started playing loudly.

"What-" Gordon tried to say something, but..

Sunkist burst out into a run, with him on her back. Air rushed past him as the music played. He realized she was about to run up the wall and he held on tight as she did, trying not to fall off. 

"Holy shit-" Gordon sputtered out, holding onto Sunkist tightly.

They went up the wall and then back down and quickly into the next room. Gordon's heart was racing and he held on for dear life as Sunkist sprinted through rooms and around objects. They blurred together and rushed past him as the music continued.

"Ha ha!" Bubby cheered in excitement.

"Whoa!" Tommy marveled.

"Now this is more like it!" Dr Coomer shouted excitedly.

Gordon had to disagree. He yelped as Sunkist went up another wall,  _ this time onto the ceiling  _ causing him to almost fall off, and then back to the floor and onto the next room without stopping. 

"He's the one they call DR. FEELGOOD!" Bubby sang along to the music.

"He's the one that makes you feel alright!" Dr. Coomer joined him.

Gordon lifted up his head long enough to notice that Sunkist ran between two pillars and space distorted what should have been a two foot space into an entire hallway. He really fucking hated that. In the hallway that should not have existed, there was a window into a huge room filled with servers labelled 'Wikipedia'. He didn't have much time to make sense of this, because Sunkist didn't slow down for anything.

Sunkist sharply turned the corner and ran down another hallway, and through another room, with Gordon barely hanging on. Suddenly, the music cut out.

"Wait, hold on!" Tommy interrupted.

Sunkist abruptly skidded to a halt, and Gordon was almost flung forward off of her. Nope, he's not doing this anymore. He quickly got off of Sunkist and almost fell onto the ground. He leaned on the wall for support. He was so dizzy.

"Go- go back and look at the fern!"

Fern? Gordon glanced back through the doorway of the room they just came from. Oh, there it was.  _ Wonder why he missed it before. _

After steadying himself he walked over and looked. It was… a fern.

"Study this fern closely, Gordon! It will be important later in the story!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

Ok, no. There was absolutely no way this fern mattered at all. Gordon turned away to leave the room, still catching his breath, but the door shut.

"No, you have to look!" Bubby demanded.

They had to be fucking kidding him. He narrowed his eyes and begrudgingly glared at the fern for like 10 more seconds.

"Okay, good enough I guess." Bubby said, opening the door back up.

Gordon ran a hand through his hair and sighed. This place and these people were going to be the death of him.

He went back over to Sunkist and thankfully she didn't try to pick him up again. She was just expectantly waiting for him to follow her. They walked through the next door, but..

They were back at one of the first rooms?

"Wait, we're- we're back at the office?" Tommy sounded confused.

"Your dog knows what we're looking for, right?" Bubby asked critically.

"Yes- she, I'm sure she knows what she's doing-" Tommy replied.

Sunkist led Gordon through another door he'd never been through, and then another one. And then he was back in the fucking monitor room yet again. Why??? 

"Uh oh!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

"This again?" Bubby said, exasperatedly.

"Oh no, Sunkist! We're- we're not supposed to be there yet!" Tommy said worriedly.

Sunkist lowered her head sadly. As much as Gordon wanted to say 'aww' or something, Sunkist  _ did  _ just rocket him through the building. Still dizzy, by the way.

"It's okay, Sunkist, I- I'm sure it's the-" Static cut Tommy off. "-'s fault, not yours." 

Static again?

"So.. reset?" Bubby asked.

"It seems we have no other option." Dr. Coomer observed. "Who gets to press it this time?" Dr. Coomer excitedly asked.

"Umm.." Tommy paused. "Benrey, did you want to.."

Oh shit,  _ Benrey! _ They still hadn't said anything this entire time! 

"Nevermind, they look busy-"

"My turn then!" Dr. Coomer interrupted swiftly, smacking the reset button before Bubby could try to stop him.

* * *

Benrey was in fact busy. Over the loops they had picked up some ways to fuck with things, replace stuff, etc. That's how they pulled off the skeleton prank, among others.

This time they were trying something different.

It would probably end up being an epic fail, but you gotta smash a few eggs against the wall to make an omelet, probably. They're pretty sure that sounds about right.

Now that the group was on the last reset of the confusion ending, it was time to get to work.

* * *

He was back in that chair again. Gordon didn't think he was ever going to get used to the resets. They were seriously jarring. But he wasn't winded anymore, so that was a plus.

So, what was going to go wrong this time? He exited the room and started walking through the office, but the others were silent.

Then the next door he was supposed to go through shut.

"Forget it! This isn't working!" Bubby said in frustration. He must have closed the door.

"Yeah, I- I don't think we're going to get any closer to the story just- just doing this every time." Tommy said.

"Hmm.." Dr. Coomer paused. "You know what? We're intelligent people, let's just make our own story!"

"I'm very intelligent." Bubby said.

Gordon made confused gestures at the ceiling. Who just says that??

"Oh, that could work!" Tommy said.

"We could go anywhere!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

"Let's go to space!" Bubby suggested.

"We could go  _ almost _ anywhere! I don't think we can go to space!" 

"Damn!" Bubby said.

Anywhere? What about going the fuck home? Nevermind, Gordon figured that he wouldn't  _ actually _ go home if they did that. It would be like the apartment with the skeleton again.

"Let's go… this way!" Dr. Coomer said, opening a door to Gordon's right.

He had gotten used to getting railroaded at this point. He didn't have any other options and most likely wouldn't, so he went through it.

"This is so exciting! We're- we're forging our own path like a- like a bluebird playing chess!" Tommy exclaimed.

"What??" Gordon couldn't help from asking with a laugh in his voice.

"Nature, is, beautiful!" Dr. Coomer enunciated each word.

Gordon just shook his head and kept walking. The hallway was doing the bullshit where it made no sense spatially again. 

"Our story could be anything!" Bubby cheered.

He turned the corner a few times and the hallway morphed into itself, and he was walking in circles. He tried not to pay attention to that for the sake of his own sanity.

"What do you want it to be, Gordon?" Dr. Coomer asked.

Gordon was surprised that he was asking him. Usually they just did shit without any regard for what he thought.

"I-" Gordon started to say.

Suddenly, a fucking  _ couch _ crashed through the wall beside him, and he just narrowly avoided getting hit as he scrambled backwards.

"What the fuck!?" Gordon shouted.

"Oh shit!" Bubby yelled.

"Why?? Why would you do that?" Gordon wheezed, leaning against the wall, several steps away from the debris.

"I didn't!" Bubby said defensively.

" _ Really? _ " Gordon said in an accusatory tone. He found that a bit hard to believe since Bubby also previously  _ blew up a vending machine _ . And couches don't just fly through walls on their own.

"It's true, he didn't! I was watching him!" Dr. Coomer said.

"Then who the fuck  _ did? _ " Gordon asked, trying to calm down. 

"Wait, what's through there?" Tommy asked.

Gordon peered through the new couch-sized hole in the wall. There was a dimly lit hallway that looked completely different from anything in the office building.

"How is this even here?" Gordon asked.

"It's probably just a- another thing going wrong, like the missing doors." Tommy theorized.

"How is a couch flying through a wall in any way the same as-"

"I think this must be the new story we were looking for!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed. "Go through the hole, Gordon!"

"Why-"

"Hole!" Dr. Coomer interrupted.

"How is that-"

"Hole!" Bubby echoed.

"This is obviously the only logical course of action. Let's get a move on, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer urged.

Gordon made a frustrated noise and went through. He didn't really want to, but he got the feeling they wouldn't shut up if he didn't. Actually, they never shut up anyway. They were like wind up toys.

The hallway was dark, and there was a sign painted on the wall that was illegible because it was covered by dirt.

"Can you read what that says?" Tommy asked.

"I can't tell what it says, it's-" Gordon tried to explain.

"sounds like someone's uhhh.. illiterate." Benrey said out of nowhere.

Benrey? Gordon's surprise and confusion must have shown on his face, because Tommy started talking.

"Oh, that's- that's Benrey, Mr. Freeman, umm, they were busy earlier."

Tommy must have taken his confusion as not knowing who Benrey was.

"yeah hi." Benrey deadpanned.

Gordon wondered where they were all this time. He didn't really have much reason to think it was Benrey causing all the problems, but it was definitely on his list of theories.

"Don't just stand there!" Bubby interrupted his thinking.

"You guys need to learn some- some fucking patience." Gordon scowled and continued walking down the hallway.

"I'm not allowed to have any patients, Gordon! I was kicked out of medical school." Dr. Coomer said proudly.

"You went to medical school?" Bubby asked.

"No, but I did sneak in and steal blood a number of times!"

" _ Why? _ " Gordon questioned, bewildered.

"Look, we all have our secrets." Bubby said.

Gordon shook his head and kept walking. If he devoted too much head space to trying to make sense of what the others said he would probably lose it.

He turned the corner and kept walking, but suddenly it began changing in front of him. That was new. Things had changed before many times, but not where he could see it. He stopped. The hallway was shifting to match the office hallways.

"what the hell?" Benrey said.

Instead of the dim hallway from before, it had now become one of the usual beige hallways with fluorescent lighting. He turned around but the way he came from was now a dead end.

"Seems we're back in the office!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

* * *

What the hell? It looked like Benrey's attempts at interference were caught and corrected. 

Maybe there's still something they can do when Gordon gets to the last room.

* * *

"Well that was pointless." Bubby complained. "Guess we should-"

Another crash coming from up ahead. He swears if it's another fucking couch-- But from around the corner, Sunkist came bounding towards Gordon.

"Sunkist!" Tommy cheered.

Sunkist ran up to Gordon and affectionately pushed up against him. Again, almost pushing him over. But she  _ was _ a very sweet dog.

"Sunkist, we're- we're just making our own story now, so you don't need to lead Mr. Freeman anywhere, umm.."

"She can be part of the story! Just like Scooby-Doo!" Dr. Coomer said enthusiastically.

Sunkist barked happily, wagging her tail. Barked in agreement? Maybe. She did seem to understand english.

"you gonna uhh…" Benrey paused. "gonna start saying  _ zoinks? _ " Benrey said to Gordon.

"No, I'm pretty sure his catchphrase is 'Fuck!'" Dr. Coomer said.

Ignoring that for now. Gordon and Sunkist walked through the hallway, this time Sunkist following him instead of the other way around. They passed a massive gaping hole in the ceiling… that must be where Sunkist came from.

They came to a circular room filled with file cabinets and two closed doors.

"A choice! This is a fundamental part of any story!" Dr. Coomer enthused. "Just walk in circles for a minute, Gordon!"

Arrows pointing in a circle appeared on the floor. No, he's not doing that.

"Let's make sure we pick the right door this time." Bubby said.

"Oh.. why not the left one?" Tommy asked.

"No, I meant 'right door' as in correct door-"

"Right door it is then!" Dr. Coomer said, opening it.

"Well.. alright." Bubby said.

"All right indeed!" Dr. Coomer replied.

Gordon didn't waste any time, going through the door. The room he entered was dark and lit up by a huge white screen, and when he turned around he realized that both doors led to the same room. That was pointless.

He turned back to look at the screen. ' _ The Confusion Ending'? _

"What- what is this?" Tommy asked, sounding worried.

Gordon looked at the board. Everything they had just done had been planned out? And it looked like they weren't even halfway done. They were apparently only on the fourth reset of  _ eight.  _ A timer was going up. Apparently they'd been doing this ending for over thirty minutes now.

"This.. how can this exist? We- none of that was planned." Dr. Coomer's voice lowered to a whisper.

"There's nothing like this in the script--" Bubby said, sounding like he was frantically flipping through papers.

"And- and we're just supposed to  _ forget?"  _ Tommy stammered.

They had no way of knowing that they already had, twice before. But Tommy was talking about what was next on the schedule. They were supposed to forget, and in the next loop Gordon was supposed to be unable to progress.

This was fucked up. The others sounded like they were more upset about it than him, though. He found himself believing that they really didn't know this was going to happen. They sounded pretty genuine.

"I don't want to forget!" Dr. Coomer shouted.

"Me neither, isn't- isn't there anything we can do?" Tommy asked hurriedly.

"How-- how could this have been planned? I thought we did this ourselves-" Bubby questioned.

"I- I don't know what's going on, I don't have  _ anything _ like this in the list of endings-" Tommy muttered, flipping through papers.

Gordon read through the rest of the schedule, but his blood went cold. At the end, he was supposed to  _ die? _ Nevermind, he's freaking out now too.

Beside him, Sunkist leaned against him, attempting to comfort him. He scratched her head but couldn't look away from the screen.

'After a long time, Gordon dies.' That was the last thing on the schedule. He was filled with dread, his heart starting to race. What would happen if he  _ died _ here?

* * *

Alright, showtime. The others were busy freaking out as usual, so Benrey went to the computer console and started trying to remove the schedule.

>BENNY LOG IN

They typed in various commands to try to remove it. All of them came back with the same error.

>ACCESS DENIED

Maybe they could just try to edit it? They tried getting it to say 'gordon orders a cheeseburger' instead of the dying thing.

Instead of saying access denied, it paused, flashed a BRIGHT red, and then shut off.

That.. was new. And concerning. Ugh, this was a total bust. Nothing they tried worked and now it was just going to play out as usual. One of the others would say 'let's not reset' and then the failsafe would kick in.

What if they tried to keep anyone from saying that? Knowing the group, though… Benrey figured they'd at least try.

* * *

Gordon sat on the floor with Sunkist as the others discussed. He'd join them, but he was still staring at the last thing on the schedule.

"If this place can make us forget.." Dr. Coomer trailed off.

"It's- not supposed to be able to, but… it wasn't supposed to do any of- of the things we've seen it do today." Tommy said sadly.

"No, you know what?" Bubby said, determined. "The next thing on the schedule is a reset, so let's just not-"

"shhhhhhhhh"

"Hey!"

"sh."

"Get your hand away from my face!"

"He's trying to say not to-" Dr. Coomer started to say.

"bbbbbbbbbbbb" Benrey said over him.

"Not to-" Dr. Coomer tried again.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBB"

What the heck was Benrey doing? Honestly, it was probably their usual bullshit. Kind of sucked to do at a time like this.

"-not to reset?" Tommy said.

It sounded like some huge machinery shut down, somewhere, shaking the room, and the timer stopped.

Benrey stopped making bbbb sounds.

"The timer?" Dr. Coomer questioned.

"It.. stopped. Maybe we escaped that ending?" Bubby suggested.

"How.. how will we know?" Tommy asked.

There were a few moments of silence.

"We'll.. find out." Dr. Coomer said slowly.

Gordon would take sitting here over death any day. He really hoped that not resetting would work.

"Well, in the meantime-" Bubby started to say.

He was cut off by a familiar loud alarm, and a hard reset.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO sorry i promise those two idiots will communicate eventually <3 dr coomer voice: it's sad but it had to happen, readers! (no it didnt, i made it happen) i hope you enjoyed this chapter!! i am surprised that anyone is reading this at all i have like no confidence asfdsadfsg BUT. i have so much fun stuff planned so i must write it.... that is why i always win the internal wrestling match vs my anxiety.....  
> ALSO UHHHHHHH SUNKIST IN THIS CHAPTER BE LIKE : https://i.imgur.com/FTZkrJg.jpg


	4. listen to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOO i had to wrestle with this chapter to get it to happen cause i was having trouble writing it BUT I DID IT...... we made it yall.... and today was my goal too so yess >:3 well i hope you enjoy the chapter!! i continue to be stunned that anyone is reading this thank u all so much for the support!!!!! ill say more at the end!!

That fucking alarm again! And Gordon was back in that beginning office once again. How many times had it been? He sighed and leaned back in the chair. He didn't feel like getting up and starting yet.

Fuck, the 'confusion ending' better not continue. He didn't know if he could take any more of that. 

Though, if it was over, the others would probably have forgotten again. 

Something.. something gave him the inclination that he wasn't the only one trapped here. Even if the others didn't know it, this place was affecting them too. Erasing their memories and doing.. whatever all of that was that happened during the confusion ending. If all of that was planned, maybe they were manipulated to do the stuff on the schedule?

Was that happening to him too? He really hoped not.

At least they seemed to remember their lives before this. Gordon wished he could say the same. Even though Dr. Coomer had told him some things, they didn't sound quite right. He sure as hell didn't work here, for one. And.. he still needed to figure out who Joshua was.

But for now..

What should he do next?

He decided to just sit and take a breather for now. Man, he really needed this. He'd been going basically nonstop since he woke up here, and all the stuff that happened during the confusion ending took a lot out of him. (And the stuff before that.)

Would anything happen if he just didn't leave the starting office? He didn't really want to test that, though. That's the exact opposite of his goal of getting out of here.

Getting out of here.

Yeah.. he should rest later. He needs to be absolutely sure that the confusion ending is over. Because, you know. The last thing on the schedule. If it's still going, he would be prevented from making any progress, like it said would happen next. 

He stood up and started the usual walk through the office. 

"All of his coworkers were gone! What could that mean?" Dr. Coomer narrated as usual.

So.. they forgot again? That could mean anything. It said on the schedule they would, after all, but that would also happen if it was over. He walked a little faster.

"Gordon decided he'd head to the meeting room, perhaps he had simply missed a memo!"

Maybe. He'd only gone through there once before, and he remembered a few different ways he could go around there. He remembered the escape hallway.. Tommy said that was dangerous. There was also a staircase leading downwards, before the boss's office. That could be worth checking out. 

He made it to the set of two open doors. So far, everything seemed okay.

"When Gordon came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left!" Dr. Coomer said.

It could be worth trying for once. So far he'd only gone through the door on the right. He doubted that it would solve anything or make much of a difference, but it was a start. He went through the door on the left.

"wowwwwww..." Benrey said sarcastically.

What? What??? Benrey said the same thing when he went through the door on the right, though? He literally couldn't win with them. Nope, don't engage with them, just keep moving.

Gordon ended up at the meeting room like his first run, just much faster. He was pretty relieved, this definitely confirmed the confusion ending was over. If it was still going he would have been stopped before the two doors.

"But there was no sign of his coworkers here either. Gordon was in disbelief, and decided he would go up to his boss's office, to hopefully find an answer there!" Dr. Coomer continued.

He was going to move on soon, but first Gordon looked at the projector screen. It was showing chart after chart about soda, including the one he saw last time he was here with the 'evil flavor'. Why-

Okay, he really needs to stop wasting energy on trying to make sense of this place. It's.. never going to make sense.

He left the meeting room, but in the hallway towards the staircase he noticed something he hadn't seen last time. There was a room labelled 'broom closet'?

He tried the doorknob experimentally, like he did with most doors he passed. They were always locked. But to his surprise, this one _actually_ _opened_! He didn't expect that at all, so he stood there blankly for a moment with the door open.

Well.

He's gotten this far. Might as well go in. Prove it was worth the effort. He stepped inside. 

Yeah.. it was a broom closet. Not sure what he expected. But whatever. He looked through the shelves anyway. There was a broom, of course. Duct tape. Tools. Some of this stuff could probably be useful. For what? He.. wasn't sure.

Okay. This was stupid. Why did he do this?

He was just about to turn around and leave when the others started talking.

"Gordon stepped into the broom closet, but there was nothing there, so he left." Dr. Coomer narrated.

_Yes, Gordon could see that, thanks._ They really got on his nerves, sometimes. Okay, all of the time.

Before he even had the chance to move..

"Yeah, he got the hell out of there so we can get on with the story." Bubby grumbled.

Something within him snapped. You know what? Gordon was _really_ sick of them telling him what to do. He knew what he was about to do was petty as hell and he had more important things to worry about, but he didn't care.

He scowled and grabbed the door handle, pulling the door shut and closing himself inside. 

This immediately prompted a response from the team.

"For fuck's sake-" Bubby muttered.

"There- there was nothing there, in the broom closet, um.." Tommy tried.

"Gordon closed himself in the broom closet, for.. some reason?" Dr. Coomer narrated.

Yep, this was happening now. Gordon didn't care, he was done listening to them. Some part of him was aware that he should be focused on getting out of here, but he was too pissed off to think about that right now. He sat on the floor with his arms crossed.

"look at the little child" Benrey taunted.

Fucking seriously??

"You- You guys are such _fucking_ assholes-" Gordon tried to say.

"Gordon had a tantrum in the broom closet!" Dr. Coomer narrated cheerfully.

You know what? He might as well narrate himself!

" _Gordon_ is not having a tantrum, he's-" He got cut off again.

"He's being a little bitch, that's what he's doing." Bubby said.

"You--" Gordon cut himself off this time to take a deep breath, the hand he was pointing uselessly at the ceiling literally shaking with rage.

There was silence for a moment and Gordon just sat there taking a few breaths. He didn't get much time though, because the others started up again.

"There was no reason for him to still be in the broom closet, no-" Dr. Coomer tried.

"I _know_ that!" Gordon said exasperatedly.

"Uhh, if he knows that, then.." Tommy trailed off.

Oh yeah, Gordon had almost forgotten, since during the confusion ending it hadn't been much of an issue. But it looked like they were doing it again; literally refusing to talk to him directly. This was ridiculous.

"You guys could fucking talk to me directly, you know, instead of just--"

"huh" Benrey said blankly.

"Just-"

"Gordon should get a move on!" Dr. Coomer interrupted.

"Oh my fucking god-" 

"Yeah um, it's gonna be good, so, he should keep going!" Tommy said.

"Would it kill you guys to- to just _listen-_ "

"Okay, I'm back! Wait, is he really still in the fucking broom closet?" Bubby asked annoyedly.

Gordon let out a noise of frustration and put his hands on his head. Whyyyy.

"it's uhh.. you can't force people to come out of the closet man" Benrey said flatly.

That one genuinely made Gordon pause, holy shit.

"Gordon was still sitting in the broom closet looking at nothing!" Dr. Coomer narrated.

"Why?" Bubby asked.

"No idea!"

Gordon found it hard to believe that they _really_ had no idea.

"Gordon, can you hurry up? Some of us have shit to do." Bubby said, finally talking directly to him.

What could he possibly have to do? They were all stuck here. Wait, the others must not know that.

"yeah i was gonna go play heavenly sword and you're- you're ruining this for me." Benrey said.

Gordon rolled his eyes. He considered saying something, but one of them would probably cut him off again.

"When I go home, I'm gonna eat dinner and then I'm gonna take my dog Sunkist for a walk!" Tommy said.

"You have a dog?" Dr. Coomer asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I made her, she's the perfect dog! :)"

How did he say that out loud? And.. also again with the _made_ thing.

"You.. made her?" Gordon took the opportunity to ask.

"Yeah!"

"Don't you mean like.. adopted her, or.."

"No!" Tommy said cheerfully.

"What's not to get, Gordon?" Dr. Coomer asked. " _He_ made a dog!"

"The perfect dog!" Tommy chimed in.

Gordon narrowed his eyes a bit. He already knew before asking he probably wouldn't get anywhere, though, considering their track record. 

"yeah have you never made anything before" Benrey said flatly.

"I-"

"Well, he's definitely _making_ a mess of the story." Dr. Coomer said.

"Maybe to him this is some sort of branching path. Maybe this is the best ending to him. The 'sitting on the floor having a tantrum' ending." Bubby said.

"Couldn't there be a- a better name for that?" Tommy asked.

"Nope." Bubby replied.

Seriously, Gordon could hardly get a word in. They always talked over him or interrupted him.

"Okay, I think I figured it out! He's dead!" Dr. Coomer said, in a happy tone that didn't match what he was saying at all.

_What??_

"I'm not dead!" Gordon shouted.

"He's haunting the broom closet and that's why he hasn't left it!"

"Makes perfect sense to me. Well, rest in peace." Bubby said.

This was a new level of ridiculousness. They were definitely just fucking with him now. Gordon covered his ears, he had had _more than enough_ of listening to this.

"Gordon, do you need us to perform an 'exorcism'?" Dr. Coomer asked.

"Oh, I know all about those, I read the Wikipedia™ page!" Tommy said excitedly.

Wait.. Why could Gordon still hear them? Oh, shit, he forgot one of the other fucked up aspects of this place! The voices were fucking coming from inside his head, or being transmitted directly to his brain, or- or _something_. It.. doesn't really matter how you define it, it's fucked up as hell.

Getting on the train of thought about how fucked up this place is made him remember he should be trying to leave right now. Oops. He had gotten all worked up over the others being so aggravating, but that was nothing new. 

He took his hands off his head and without a word, stood up and left the broom closet, a determined expression on his face.

"Guess he's alive after all!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

"Finally, we can get on with it already." Bubby said.

Gordon ignored them. Moving on, he made it to the stairs.

"Coming to a staircase, Gordon went upstairs to his boss's office." Dr. Coomer said.

Nope. Gordon went downstairs instead, like he'd planned before.

"Really?" Bubby said exasperatedly.

"Oh.." Tommy said, sounding disappointed.

The stairwell was dark, and when he made it to the bottom he blinked a few times, waiting for his eyes to adjust. The room was dimly lit, and there was an open door up ahead.

He continued onwards, hoping to find literally anything that could help him figure out how to get out of here.

"But Gordon just couldn't do it." Dr. Coomer started to narrate again.

What? Nevermind, it doesn't matter. Gordon passed through the next room. It had some clocks that weren't synced, and some lockers (all locked).

"He considered what would happen if he faced his boss and admitted he had left his post during work hours. He could be fired for that!"

If being fired would mean he'd get to leave, go ahead and fire him! He doesn't work here anyway!

Gordon walked through the next room, passing a soda machine and some paintings. These rooms were pretty dark, compared to all the bright fluorescent lighting upstairs. There was an elevator.. but it was blocked off, and looked like it was out of service anyway.

"Why had Gordon taken such a big risk? All because he thought his coworkers had vanished?" Dr. Coomer continued.

"I don't care about any of that, actually!" Gordon shouted at the ceiling as he walked. (Pointlessly, he knew Dr. Coomer wouldn't respond.)

"His boss would think he'd lost it!"

Gordon just needs to ignore him. He passed through a hallway where he needed to turn right and then left. There were some chairs pushed off to the side of the hall, but still nothing notable.

"And then, something occurred to him. 'Maybe I _have_ lost it,' Gordon thought to himself." Dr. Coomer narrated.

"Uh, _no???_ " Gordon said incredulously, shaking his head. It was so annoying how they always put words into his mouth.

He kept going, but.. Hold on, was he in the dark room again? Holy shit, what's happening better not be what he thinks is happening.

"All of his coworkers mysteriously vanishing at once? It made no logical sense!"

Finally, some acknowledgement of how little sense all of this makes. 

Speaking of, as he walked into the next room, his suspicions were confirmed. The clocks and the lockers again. _The rooms were repeating_. He really fucking hated this place.

"When he realized that, he started to notice other things that were off." Bubby started to narrate next. "Like how outside the windows there was only white light, or how doors closed automatically behind him everywhere he w-"

"I already fucking knew that-" Gordon said sharply back at Bubby.

"Shut up, I'm talking!"

"Wh-"

"Do you know how annoying it is when someone just won't let you talk??" Bubby accused.

" _Yeah, I_ **_do_ ** _, actually-_ " Gordon got cut off again.

"No, you don't know. Anyway," Bubby resumed the narration. "And these rooms were starting to look familiar, were they repeating?"

Gordon already knew that too, but didn't bother responding. It was pointless anyway. He kept walking through the repeating rooms. The vending machine again, the elevator, the hallway..

"No, Gordon said to himself, this was all too weird, this can't be real." Bubby narrated.

For the record, Gordon didn't say that.

"And he finally came to the conclusion that had been in the back of his mind the whole time." Bubby cleared his throat.

"I'm dreaming! He yelled," Bubby imitated Gordon in a mocking voice. "This is all a dream!"

"I don't _sound like that,_ and I _know_ this isn't a dream, asshole-"

Tommy took over the narration next. "It was a relief to have finally found an- an explanation, for all of this."

Gordon _knew_ this wasn't a dream. Even with all the weird shit that kept happening, everything felt real to him. He could feel the ground beneath his feet as he walked, and he could see everything clearly. Even now they were still fucking with him. 

"And he figured he would probably wake up soon, so," Tommy went on, "He thought he should- should try to enjoy it while he was still lucid."

Enjoy _what??_

"So, he imagined himself flying, and started floating off the ground!"

Wh- Shit! The ground slipped out from under him, and his stomach dropped as he floated up into the air. Holy fuck. Gordon stared on in horror for a few seconds before deciding to say something.

"What the _fuck-_ " He barely managed to get out. Somehow this place still managed to surprise him.

"And he imagined himself soaring through space on a- a magical starfield," Tommy narrated with wonder in his voice, "and that also appeared!"

Just like Tommy said, the room Gordon was in became dark, with tiny sparkling lights like stars drifting in the air. If he didn't hate everything about this situation, he might have found it pretty.

Also he was still floating in the air.

"Can you put me the fuck down??" Gordon asked.

It was probably just a coincidence, but gravity came back the second he said that and he smacked down face first onto the ground. Ouch. Guess he got what he asked for, though.

"It was so much fun!" Tommy narrated.

No?

"Um, Mr. Freeman wondered how he still hadn't woken up yet, and how he was still lucid."

Gordon picked himself off the ground as Tommy talked. He noticed the stars had disappeared too. There really wasn't much he could do or anywhere he could go, since the rooms were in a loop now.

Dr. Coomer jumped in, taking over the narration again. "And then perhaps the strangest question of them all came to mind, one he was amazed he hadn't asked himself sooner."

Gordon kept walking anyway, but..

"Why are there voices dictating everything he's doing and saying?" Dr. Coomer narrated.

Oh, they had to be fucking kidding him! He stopped in his tracks and made confused and angry gestures at the ceiling.

"You know what, why don't _you_ answer that!?" Gordon retorted.

Dr. Coomer ignored him. "And now one of the voices was describing itself being considered by Gordon, who found it particularly strange!"

Actually more like particularly stupid. Where was this even going?

"I'm dreaming about a voice describing me thinking about how it's describing my thoughts, he thought!" Dr. Coomer went on.

Gordon barely had the chance to wrap his head around whatever Dr. Coomer just said because the narration kept going.

"And while he found it all very strange, and wondered if these voices spoke to all people in their dreams-"

That's obviously not true, but if anyone else out there had to deal with this shit he would feel bad for them.

"-the truth was that of course this wasn't a dream. How could it be?" Dr. Coomer said.

Uh yeah, thanks for catching up! Gordon didn't even bother trying to respond. He'd stopped walking through the repeating rooms as well, and sat in one of the office chairs in the hall.

"Was Gordon simply deceiving himself, believing that if he's asleep he doesn't have to take responsibility for himself?"

Gordon could barely believe what he just heard, and stood up in a blind rage. Are they seriously fucking--

* * *

Man.. this ending sucks. That goes for most of them, but still. Benrey was just spinning around in their chair waiting for it to end. There wasn't much they could do to break the script right now. 

They zoned back in to check how much time was left. So, about now the others were probably getting close to the 'trying to wake up' part of the script, right?

Wait, what's happening?

"-know what, fuck you guys! You're _still_ fucking with me, and putting words in my mouth, I'm- I'm not putting up with this shit-" Gordon was shouting on screen.

Oh shit, Gordon's going off. Nice.

"-and you're probably just pretending to forget every time, _just_ to fuck with me-"

Uh, hold on, what? What the--

That-- couldn't mean anything else. Holy shit, could Gordon still remember? _Why the fuck didn't he say anything?_

To be fair, Benrey didn't say anything either, but come on. They'd already tried that so many fucking times like a hundred loops ago.

"Like- Like how last time you all remembered! During the fucking confusion ending! I don't know why I ever thought I could _trust_ you guys-" Gordon was gesturing wildly on the screen.

For the first time in a long time, something like hope flowed through their veins as they froze in panic, eyes wide. They were pretty sure some sweet voice slipped out too, but that didn't matter right now. Benrey _had_ to do something, what do they do?

"Uhh.. What's Mr. Freeman talking about?" Tommy whispered to Bubby and Coomer.

"I'm.. not sure? You think something's broken?" Bubby replied.

"No.. I don't think that's it." Tommy said, looking at the screen in confusion.

Benrey had to say something. _They had to._

"yo-"

"No, fuck off _Benrey_!" Gordon spat, interrupting them. "Whatever the fuck you're about to say, I don't want to hear it!"

Wow, rude. But this didn't deter them from their task.

"nah seriously listen-"

"Listen?? You're telling _me_ to listen?"

"bro-"

"No!"

Was this how Gordon felt all the time when he was interrupted? This is suck. But it's too important for Benrey to stop trying. Maybe they should just get to the point.

"i remember too."

Gordon looked like he was about to start yelling again, but then he paused and looked confused.

"You… remember?" He said, sounding unsure.

Then the anger came back to his face and he went right back into yelling, this time for a different reason.

"Why- Why the fuck didn't you _say anything,_ you ass-"

"why didn't _you_ say anything?"

"I didn't want to have to try and convince you guys again!"

The rest of the team was looking on in confusion, though Tommy looked like he was coming to his own conclusions.

"Benrey, umm.." Tommy sounded unsure. "Is something going on?"

"So they.." Gordon trailed off, catching his breath. "They really don't remember?"

"nah, 's just us" Benrey replied, then turned to Tommy. "you guys think this is our first run, but it's not. we've been at this for.."

Benrey debated whether or not they should say _exactly_ how long this has been going on. They imagined that would probably stress Gordon out even more, since he only remembered the last few. 

So they didn't. Not now.

"..a few loops now, and you guys always forget."

"What? How?" Bubby asked, sounding like he was barely masking fear. "That's- Nothing like that is supposed to happen!"

"i dunno, maybe someone wiped your save file or something." Benrey supplied unhelpfully.

"Bubby is right, that shouldn't be possible! But, you say it is?" Dr. Coomer said.

"yeah we did the uhh.. the one where he shuts down the mind beams and leaves, the phone one, and the confusion one, we don't have.. that one in the script though."

"Yeah I think- I think Mr. Freeman mentioned that, the 'confusion ending'? What is that?" Tommy asked, concerned.

"uhhh…" Benrey didn't really want to go through explaining the whole thing. "you guys are gonna forget this anyways, so.." 

"I don't want to forget!" Dr. Coomer exclaimed.

"Me neither, what causes it to happen?" Bubby asked frantically.

"If it happens at the end of each run, is it the reset that causes it? What if we just don't-" Dr. Coomer tried.

Benrey slapped a hand over Coomer's mouth before he could finish saying that. 

"sh."

They.. wouldn't really have any way of explaining why the others shouldn't say that without causing the auto reset to happen themself, would they? Shit.

"Don't r-" Tommy tried to say.

And then Benrey's other hand went to cover Tommy's mouth. Seriously, why did the others always do this?

"shhhhhh."

"Don't reset?" Bubby said.

Oops, out of arms.

"bbbbbbbbb" Benrey said in frustration, dropping their arms to their sides.

"What?" Dr. Coomer asked.

"every time you guys say that it like… the failsafe kicks in, it's gonna reset any second now."

"Oh." Dr. Coomer replied. "Fuck!"

"It's gonna reset?" Gordon asked.

"yeah we can uhh.." Benrey was having trouble finding their words. "we can talk more when the next one starts." 

Gordon looked unsure, and still pissed off, but didn't say anything else.

Benrey looked at the others. Bubby looked pissed, and probably afraid too, but they knew he'd never admit it. Dr. Coomer was looking at Bubby with concern maybe? And Tommy looked like he was about to say something.

"Umm, Benrey? You guys are gonna try to figure this out, right?"

"yeah." Benrey knew this now more than ever to be true.

"Well.." Tommy gave him a hopeful smile. "Good luck!"

It probably would've been way more cinematic if it cut off there, but it didn't. So Benrey just stared blankly at him for a few moments, before realizing they should probably say something.

"oh uh, thanks" They said.

There were a few more moments of silence.

Then that same shitty alarm sounded, and it reset once more. 

Though instead of the usual feeling of indifference or exhaustion, there was only one thought on Benrey's mind. That they weren't alone.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI ARE U EXCITED.. because i am :) 
> 
> ohh my god i have so much to say. okay so like. ive been waiting for an opportunity to have gordon talk in third person because it makes so much sense in this fic right??? it will happen more dont worry!! lmao ok also. if it seems like bubby was being too mean to gordon i would like to explain . that i kind of think of it as when people yell at the tv during sports for no reason lmao idk!!
> 
> also!! i realized i never said this before so if u have anything u would like to send me on tumblr my hlvrai blog is @hewwo-gowdon ! yes i named it that to be cursed on purpose 😔 i did make a few doodles related to the au a while back which wouldnt leave my mind which made me write this fic, u might be able to find them in the my art tag, okay thats all!!! see you next time >:)

**Author's Note:**

> not cancelled !! just on hold cause it's hard to write in my current living situation, but in the meantime you can always come talk to me at @hewwo-gowdon on tumblr !


End file.
